A Buddhist monk leaned over to another and quietly asked, “Are you not thinking what I’m not thinking?”
Desmond Tutu tells the following: “There is a story, fairly well known, about when the missionaries came to Africa. They had the Bible and we, the natives, had the land. They said ‘Let us pray,’ and we dutifully shut our eyes. When we opened them, why, they now had the land and we had the Bible.”
A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, not the original books. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies.
The head monk says “We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.” So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original.
Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears a sobbing coming from the back of the cellar, and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books and crying. He asks what’s wrong. “The word is ‘celebrate’,” says the old monk.
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
‘And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?’
One bright little girl replied,
‘Because people are sleeping.’
How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.
Q: Why don’t Buddhists vacuum in the corners? A: Because they have no attachments.
I hear reincarnation is making a comeback.
A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Steven raises his hand and says, “He’s in Heaven.”
Mary answers, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, “He’s in our bathroom!”
The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.
“Well,” Little Johnny says, “every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells ‘Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'”
A Guru and his disciple were walking in the Himalayas back to their monastery. It was a long way and the roads were tough as it is a hilly region. On their way to the monastery there was a branch of river Ganga flowing fully though less violently.
There was an young maiden sitting close to the river, whose village was just across the river, she was scared to cross the river by herself, she asked the elder monk to help her cross the river.
“Sure” said the elder monk and held her up in his arms, they crossed the river, he let her down, she went to her village after thanking the monk. The younger monk looked a little worried.
The monks came to their monastery after couple of hours of difficult walk in the hills, the younger monk was still not settled, sensing it the Guru asked him what the matter was. The disciple said “Master, we have sworn of not touching a woman, but you carried her in your arms, you tell us not to think of women but you touched her” complained the disciple.
The Guru said with a smile : “I carried her across the river and left her on the other side, but you are still carrying her”